Can I stay “conscious” when I’m sad and angry?
Will I stay in this place and fully feel these feelings?
In my conditioned mind, I find fear that says staying with these feelings will destroy me. It also says that staying in anger will make me a darker, cynical person. Trying to rush out of this emotion causes a desire to create my story around this event and then spew it all over anyone that will listen, lowering the vibration of all involved.
Even though I can feel and know with my heart this is unhealthy, my conditioned mind wants to do that.
It thinks it will feel better if everyone knows how offended I feel. It wants everyone’s pity and wants to feel like the victim. I recognize this voice and I’ve been down this road before.
In the past, it hasn’t helped or made me feel better.
It’s time to try something different.
My conditioned mind has limiting beliefs and this time; I’m not going to believe it.
Instead I believe the opposite is true for me – If I STAY with these feelings, acknowledge them and feel them fully it will make me a lighter, happier person. Yes, I’m sad. I’m angry.
Can I still love myself even when I’m feeling these feelings?
I will remind myself of this over and over if I need to.
I will treat myself kindly, feed myself nutritious food, give myself plenty of rest, get a massage and do whatever else I can think of to love and support myself. This too shall pass. I’ll remind myself that those who do or say hurtful things are doing them out of their own self hatred. It really doesn’t have anything to do with me.
If I believe it does and I allow myself to be offended, it will perpetuate the situation (I then start hating myself and in turn treat myself or someone else poorly). It becomes a destructive cycle. I’m staying here in this place of pain but I’m choosing not to suffer. I want to live in the present moment and not be lost in my conditioned mind.
If I hold my breath, I’ll never learn to breathe.
…and so life begins again…